All About Art and Life 101

Have you ever liked someone deeply? Like you know you'd do anything for him even though he probably won't do the same for you. You have this genuine care for him and desire to show it to him but you can't because you can't have him. I wish he knew that I was just always here, stupidly hoping to be part of his life. I wish he knew he could have someone he can lean on, he could tell his stories too, he could hug when he needs comfort or I wish he knew I'd hold his hand when life is getting a little too tough, I'd love everything he didn't appreciate about himself, I'd tell him all the reason why I like him or I will only have my eyes on him.  Honestly, I don't know what kind of feeling this is. Sometimes it feels like an obsession because how can I not think of anyone but him on my whole day? Sometimes it feels like I just genuinely admire him from afar but then I get sad when I think of him having someone. I know this isn't healthy anymore I need ...

If you'd ask me what kind of guy I'd marry, teenager me, would probably say someone good looking and nice. If you'd ask me now, I would say someone who cares enough about me to let his ego down. Frankly, I've never been in a relationship but I've met a lot of guys who tried to pursue me. Over the years, I learn a lot about myself especially the kind of guy I prefer. This is super cliche but if I ask you, if you can't have both which do you prefer someone who loves you or someone you love? I was always the "someone you love", for some weird reason I always believe that we are capable of having whatever we want. Since I've always had this mindset I never entertain anyone I don't like and if I do I was never serious or fully committed to it. I don't know why but I just can't help comparing them. How much difference they have. As a person who loves too hard and gives too much, it was given that I'd give one hundred percent for the peopl...

Sometimes I feel like I have so much love, I don't know where or whom to put it. I'm scared because when you love people too much, it suffocates them. My brain never stop, I have so much feelings to write, to say and to give. I want to describe every little thing, how it looks, how it makes me feel and how much love I have for it. I want to write letters for everyone I ever know and tell them how much they made an impact on me, no matter how short it was. I want to hug everyone who has saved me a chair when I'm late, those who buy something for me because it reminds them of me, those who greeted me on my birthday, those who understands that sometimes I'm quiet, those who opens up to me about everything, those who laughs at my corny jokes, those who hangs out with me all the time, those who makes sure I was safe, those who I admire from afar and just everyone who made me feel like I exist. I can't describe how much love I have for these people but I always want to sh...

My name is AJGS, i'm the eldest among my two siblings and I love my name because it came from my dad's name "Alexander" especially my second name "Jean" because it came from my mom's name "Jennylind Eulalia" her nickname is Jean pronounced as "Jane". Though, nobody really calls me Jean instead they call me Ly or Aly. I was born on the 21st of April, 2001 in Chinese General Hospital. My parents are the most loving people in the world. I am not the brightest nor the smartest kid in the room and yet my parents are always proud of me. I would explain my childhood as fun and chaotic. My mom is a superstitious person that's why growing up we always move from place to place for a variety of reasons. Sometimes due to the stairs in front of the door, mirror beside the bed or the door facing the bed. I even remember the time where we move just in front of our current place. I never got any childhood friends due to this but looking back, it ...

Does anyone ever count how many people have they let go? Does it get better over time? Did you ever regret it? Funny how you came from not being able to stand alone and now you're finally fine letting people go. You know no matter how much you love a person, you can never hold them forever. You'll grow tired of trying to stay for something that no longer brings you happiness. The effort, the time and the attention doesn't matter anymore if they no longer have the same amount of love you have for them. You can stay for as long as you can but that can never guarantee anything. Change is the only constant thing in the world and so our feelings. You may be closer than ever right now but tommorrow you may end up as stranger for them. I believe there are two types of how you lose a person: letting them go and them leaving you. Well, I guess you're in a situation right now, where you're ready to let people go. Probably because you're finally tired of living in the past...

How are you, ma? I miss the word 'Ma' It's been a really long time since I have said that. I'm already 20 years old, time flies so fast I still remember being that 12 years old kid praying and begging for your healing.  Our family is doing okay. Papa is doing good, he seems pretty happy lately. Am I being selfish if I tell you that I don't want anyone to replace you from papa? I guess I am being selfish. How can I hold him back from something that's keeping him happy. I'm trying to be more like you forgiving and loving because I know papa deserve that kind of love but that should be you. It's been 7 years but I still feel sorry that people are moving on because honestly I don't wanna move on. I don't want to wake up one day and finally be okay without you. I'm sorry because I can't take your life back. I don't wanna be selfish but I hate that people are doing okay without you. I don't want to let you go. This pain is the only thin...