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WARNING: Full of dramatic and cringeworthy stuff because I love writing what I feel. It gives healing to me.

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Someone's Afar

People would say you can only truly love someone when you're with them. Then what do you call those who love silently, those who yearns for someone yet truly happy without having them and those who admire someone from afar? I was never a risk taker nor a confrontrational type. I have always been the timid one, a type where you'd probably ask yourself "why is she so shy?" or "does she hate me?" even though I'm clearly inlove with you.
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Do Not Settle For Less

If you'd ask me what kind of guy I'd marry, teenager me, would probably say someone good looking and nice. If you'd ask me now, I would say someone who cares enough about me to let his ego down. Frankly, I've never been in a relationship but I've met a lot of guys who tried to pursue me. Over the years, I learn a lot about myself especially the kind of guy I prefer. This is super cliche but if I ask you, if you can't have both which do you prefer someone who loves you or someone you love? I was always the "someone you love", for some weird reason I always believe that we are capable of having whatever we want. Since I've always had this mindset I never entertain anyone I don't like and if I do I was never serious or fully committed to it. I don't know why but I just can't help comparing them. How much difference they have. As a person who loves too hard and gives too much, it was given that I'd give one hundred percent for the peopl...
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Ofcourse, Frustrations

Have you ever liked someone deeply? Like you know you'd do anything for him even though he probably won't do the same for you. You have this genuine care for him and desire to show it to him but you can't because you can't have him. I wish he knew that I was just always here, stupidly hoping to be part of his life. I wish he knew he could have someone he can lean on, he could tell his stories too, he could hug when he needs comfort or I wish he knew I'd hold his hand when life is getting a little too tough, I'd love everything he didn't appreciate about himself, I'd tell him all the reason why I like him or I will only have my eyes on him.  Honestly, I don't know what kind of feeling this is. Sometimes it feels like an obsession because how can I not think of anyone but him on my whole day? Sometimes it feels like I just genuinely admire him from afar but then I get sad when I think of him having someone. I know this isn't healthy anymore I need ...
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