Free Yourself

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These days I feel like I've been losing a lot of people in my life. Some literally leave and never tried to talk to me again. Well, some of them changed and you can tell that they're drifting away. I guess these things are inevitable and will eventually happen no matter how much we tried.


When did you realize that someone or something have changed? When did it hit you? Honestly, this topic is one of the most painful thing to talk about. I hate losing someone. I hate that whenever I start loving someone so much that it scares me that's when I usually lose that person.


I have a best friend and she's been my friend since junior high school, it's been 5 years and she's the only friend that stays with me that long. At first, I'm okay losing her because I'm so used of being replaceable, people leave whenever they want to. I never thought that someone would actually stay but she did. With no pretentious and sht she stayed casually teaching me to trust.


We used to be together for almost half of a day. We did everything together from walking under the sun just to reach the newest place to eat, curse, fight over the bill, laugh at someone who mistakenly dip her fishball on the water and so much more. I never thought this would end. I never thought that a day would come where it won't be the same anymore.


If ever she stumble upon this. How are you? How's life? I know we're still friends but you used to tell me everything. I guess having other people is nice. I hope you're happy because I'm gonna be okay knowing you are happy. I'm still gonna be here, listening whenever you need someone to rely on.


Why do people need to leave? Why do we need to lose so many people in our life? I mean I've lost so many people I don't think I need to lose more. I did my best to hold on but I'm tired. Why does it take so much energy to keep a relationship with people? I miss a lot people and I hate that I'm still the same while everyone have changed. I mean, I still can't live properly without them but they can now be happy without talking to me for so many months. I hate that I miss them so much but they don't seem to care. I just wish I can also be okay without everyone. 




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